Back to Mexico

As I've mentioned my last time to this part of the world ended poorly. After a serious dose of radiation at the lake I got sun poisoning (something I had never heard of) which seriously knocked me out.  I painfully followed through with the next few days of my trip as the burn got worse, eventually leading me to a Mexican hospital in San Cristobal De las Casas.  

I'm in San Cristobal de las Casas. 

After a very restless hostel sleep last night I woke up super early and caught a shuttle for the Mexican border. The shuttle wound around the lake, and stopped briefly in Xela (where I will hopefully spend a day or two on the way back). 

As we got further and further into the Guatemalan highlands, the winding curves and tiny colorful towns reminded me of the last time I was there. I remember an almost hallucinatory experience, completely nauseous and hoping around each bend we would  finally stop. I thought it was car sickness mixed perhaps with altitude sickness... I didn't know the sun could poison you. 

This time I watched as the hills grew larger,  turning into a mountain chain instead of a series of volcano points. It reminded me at first of the Andes, the vast wall of slopes covered in various types of vegetation.

As we drove, memories played out in my mind. I remembered accurately the Guatemalan border area, the plateau street with shops on either side. I remembered it being lively, and extrnely hot, and today was the same...but the Mexican side didn't hit me till I got there and remembered at the time how desperate I was for a bathroom.

How I worried people would think I was on drugs. How I was fading in and out of full consciousness, desperate to sleep and to ease the nausea. 

When in Mexico, the roads smoothed out and I must have slept because I didn't remember the countryside. 

The mountain towns that in there wood and cement block construction look more and more like the monotone desert towns of Mexico rather than the coastal lively colorful ones. 

The farms inbetween pine forest covered hills, the ewes and Rams running around. 

The turkeys and chickens and the life style that paints images of the black hills or the Appalachians in my mind. 

I remembered accurately the many military bases, the clean smooth facades, sometimes in the middle of a forest and at other times like malls on cleared suburban looking cement. 

As we approached San Cristobal I got excited. Things started to look familiar  in a really intense way.  I   Remembered the feeling of desperation. Of wanting to see everything and knowing I couldn't. It's a beautiful city and I was confined by immobile feet, so I pushed myself, straining through an ever present pain, a gritting, a streaking, a on the verge of tears kind of pain.  I remember the pain almost enhanced the magic of the place. It was a colonial city like Antigua which at the time I had just seen, but felt even more vibrant because it seemed to serve locals as much as tourists. 

As we drove in today, I felt confident. Readin for a stroll through the cobblestones, ready to relive and fill in the gaps... And so far the city has not disappointed. 

I leave tomorrow night for Oaxaca (an entirely new experience). But today and tomorrow I am going to try to take it all in.

 

Also I made a friend, we've decided that this guy (yet to be named something other than ugly lion) will do some exploring with me. 

More soon. 

Moving On

This morning I left my apartment for the last time. Not the building though, I'm hoping to return a few times to say hi before I head home. 

Moving on from work here was not an easy decision. For the past 8 weeks I've spent each day in front of a classroom full of students, secretly thinking about how I was going to be leaving soon. Rather than that secret fueling my desires to leave, it's just left me feeling guilty. 

Yesterday was my last day at work, and I went to work nervous because thus far I had been instructed not to tell the students. My boss came around about 15 minutes into class and told me it was ok to tell them... So each class had their moment, some tears were shed, lots of me trying to reassure them that it wasn't about them, lots of apologies for bad behavior (though it didn't necessarily change during the hour), one class clapped, hugs were given, many colorful notes were placed on my desk. It was overall a really nice goodbye.

I spent last night cleaning out my apartment and giving stuff away. 

Today I am headed out into the world again. 

Itinerary  (always subject to change).

The plan in the immediate is to spend tonight in Antigua, then head to San Cristobal de las Casas (Mexico) tomorrow. I am hoping to spend the night  and day there then head to Oaxaca (overnight bus). After a few days in Oaxaca I would backtrack and either go to Merida to see a friend from South America or back to San Cristobal. 

After Mexico I will meet up again with my friends in Guatemala and take a shuttle or bus to Nicaragua. There are 5 or 6 spots I want to check out in Nicaragua before heading back overland through Honduras and El Salvador checking out some places in each.  In all I will spend about 2 weeks in Mexico, 2 weeks in Nicaragua, and roughly a week or so in Honduras and El Salvador. 

I fly home on the 23 of July from Guatemala City. 

I know that I can easily make this schedule and see all the spots, but after so many weeks of constantly working one of my goals will be to give myself a break. Hopefully that means a few days in each spot, not crazy rushing the whole time. 

I have been trying to figure out other goals for the trip today. I think one will be to do some journaling and catching up. Another to do some watercolor along the way. But mostly I want to let my brain and heart to think and process and figure out what they want. 

Months ago I was unhappy because I didn't have enough time to do creative projects while working. Over the last 8 weeks I have been so busy working, focusing on getting through the job... That I accidentally got stuck in that rhythm again. Now I am not sure what it was I wanted to do with my time off, but I am hoping to find it again before I head home. 

The hardest part of leaving is that there is a community of people I respect and have grown to care about here. 

Today when I was leaving it made me feel relieved to say "see ya in a couple of weeks" instead of goodbye. But soon that will not be the case.

I know that the world is full of wonderful people, but it has been lovely to have a group that has been part of my life, both work and play... Now I will be on my own again. 

I guess I can look forward to talking to myself. 

Getting ready

I leave in a week... Where to?

I was thinking about heading west, then north west, then back here, then south and maybe east,  then north again, and west and then back here to catch a plane home in July. 

Specifically Mexico, San cristobal and Oaxaca. Then back through Xela and here around the 19th or 20th.

Then direct to Nicaragua where I would see these places: Managua, León, Granada, esteli, Isla de ometepe

Then to Honduras and then El Salvador 

gracias, la Esperanza , Lagos de yogoa, Tegucigalpa, 

El Salvador- San Salvador, cihuatan,joga de cerei, ruinas,suchitoto, apaneca-juayua

Then back here

The lake

A couple weeks ago with my brother and sister in-law I returned to the lake that effectively ended my first trip to this part of the world. 

I had been kayaking without sunscreen on and got such a bad sunburn that I needed to go to the hospital.

At the time I was embarassed but they confirmed to me that when you come down from the mountains into the towns by the lake, it does feel like you are no longer  at a high altitude. 

Anyway, the lake was beautiful. These pictures were taken the morning we left. I may make another post to share about what we did there, but for now enjoy the beauty. 

3 Months In

It's been three months since I moved to Guatemala initially with the assumption that I would be here till October and traveling until the end of the year. 

I moved here with a set of assumptions, unanswered questions, and a heap of goals.

A couple weeks ago I came to the realization that I was not interested in staying until the end of the year. 

I've been contemplating a lot of the reasons for that decision, and also reflecting on those ideas I had before...

What changed? What have I learned? What should I be attempting to get out of this experience?

I decided I would spend 8 more weeks teaching then travel around for a bit and head home at the end of July. 

This afternoon I was working at the Starbucks a mile away from my apartment... It's the furthest of the malls in walking distance but since I had nothing else going on it seemed like a good idea to get a walk in. A student once remarked that all Americans have a crush on starbucks. 

One of the things I've realized has been disappointing with this experience is that my assumption of moving here was that I would somehow have the time, energy and desire to more fully explore Guatemalan culture. Unfortunately the reality is that between safety concerns and the exhaustion of the job- I've gotten to do very little exploration.

On the surface level I've gotten a better understanding of Guatemala City... But  I haven't had the time to dive deeper... I haven't even gone to a museum here. I've learned more about places in a weekend than I have being here for three months. 

Part of it is the lack of access. My travel spanish can take me in and out of places but doesn't allow me to make roots. My work situation exhausts me so I don't  feel like I am capable of taking on more involvements, including learning spanish.

So I'm not learning much from the people. My interactions with students are mostly work related, so I don't hear much about their lives, and one thing I've heard is that Guatemalans are not used to reflecting much so when they share it's usually very concrete.  

More upsetting I suppose is that the exhaustion and general safety issues, leave me stuck in the same bad habits I have at home. I came here to have a new experience, to learn and grow and change, but I am drinking starbucks and eating fastfood because it's easy quick and comforting.  When you constantly have safety on the mind, safety of avoiding traffic, safety of clean food, safety of not being attacked it becomes a comfort to seek familiarity. When you come home exhausted every day and know that you still have several hours of work to do, quick and comforting is just easier.  It's not that I haven't tried many new restaurants, but the non thinking option usually becomes the go-to. This is the same pattern I found myself in when I was overworking at my last job. So where is the room to grow?

So what have I learned? 

What has been good?

When I think about the best part of moving here it's the people I've met. I doubt they will be friends for life, but I feel really grateful for them every day and often think about the characteristics I enjoy about them. The more time I am here, the more time we cathect over the experience and it's just enjoyable to be around them. It's interesting to watch them grow and change with the experience- while I just feel set in my old man ways. 

(Continued a few weeks later).

Strangely enough the biggest thing I've learned is that I am not willing to pursue things unconditionally.  I am not willing to throw my life away over things that are not satisfactory, and if I don't see an option to improve the situation, I'm willing to walk away. 

I've found my extrovert energy is low, and my need to replenish it with soothing tasks, personal tasks, mental and creative tasks is a strong desire. 

More than most things, I look forward to creeping into my brain a little and seeing what is inside. 

I wonder if I had taken some more time o pursue my own creative goals first, if I might have been more capable of sticking it out at this job. 

There are times when I am uncertain if I even want to take the time to travel again while I'm here. The plan has always been to see a bit more of Central America before I go home.  I had a list of places o visit, a goal to get back in shape, a plan in my head and on paper... But sometimes I wonder if I should just head home... Perhaps cut my losses. 

I was doing the math the other day, and I believe that in the end I will likely have my entire time in Guatemala paid for, but will be paying for my own travel outside the country. What I mean is that I've saved enough from work that I can pay for a flight home, and even a few excursions around this country. But not enough to pay for an extra month and a half... But who knows maybe it will work itself out.

Getting sick.

Sometime last week I ate something that threw off the balance of my stomach in favor of a fairly serious infection. 

I spent most of Monday running to the bathroom and getting severely dehydrated. Tuesday I went to the doctor for confirmation and antibiotics, Wednesday and Thursday I sat around waiting to feel better. Attempted work a little too early Friday. 

It's Saturday and I am hungry.  Still can't eat more than a few bites without getting super full but I was worried I would never have any interest in food again. 

Part of traveling is getting sick. Normally it isn't a week long thing, but I've met people who have been sick for months because of travel, so I count my few run ins and my one emergency as a pretty good record. 

One issue with getting sick is that it makes you reconsider everything. In my case loneliness and illness tend to play out as pessimism. While sick I contemplated some of the things I've been writing about, thinking about over the last few months. The conclusion has been that I have enjoyed certain aspects of my time here but I'm not feeling happy with the most prominent aspect of being here- which is work.  My contract is up in October, but I am beginning to believe I won't be here that long. 

Antigua

This was written a month ago. I never uploaded the pictures... so its pretty dismal.


The colonial capital and current tourist city of Antigua was our Saturday trip destination.

The day began in the convent turned luxury hotel of Santo Domingo where the high school history teacher lead us around various museums such as the precolombian Art museum, the monastic art museum and a few craft work shops where they make candles, art and other goods. 

Following that we went to the San Franciscan convent, a similar colonial building that had not seen the beautiful restorations of the hotel. Here we took some pictures, saw the nuns cells, kitchens and resting places. 

Later in the day we saw a few Churches contrasting the ruined buildings of old to the rebuilt post earthquake churches that are still in use. 

Antigua is a beautiful city and many of the churches were built with parks and monuments.

The day ended with a nice lunch overlooking the city. While we were dining one of the local active volcanos went off and covered the whole region with black ash. It was kind of exciting and kind of awful.  

Part of you wanted to enjoy the experience, but another part needed to wipe the burning ash from your eyes and cough it out of your lungs. 

When I returned to school two days later everything was blanketed with black and gray dust. Yuckers. 

Anyway Antigua is beautiful. I shall return.