I spent my time in El Salvador on two different planes (not the flying kind), I was sort of caught up in the ideas of future and the enjoyment of the present.
Logistically I visited a few towns and cities with hard to pronounce names like Juayua and Chalchuapa, as well as the more recognizable San Salvador. I mostly stayed in the northern part of the country, crossing from the East at the Honduran border over to San Salvador and then up into Guatemala.
I found vibrant and beautiful murals and artwork in most of the cities, ranging from the graffiti walls of the capital to the cartoonish style of La Palma. I found amazing museums in San Salvador which contained beautiful works of art, depictions of history and stories from the war and progressive movements.
I learned a little about how difficult it was to establish the name of El Salvador as opposed to just Salvador which would make more sense.
I walked the streets of small towns, mountains towns, plains towns, Jungly towns, as well as the malls, the street mercados and suburban looking areas of the city.
I made friends. Sipped a tiny amount of moonshine. Ate a ton of sorbet. Drank some really good coffee, and some that was just ok. I didn't eat any papusas, the salvadorian food staple. I used a lot of bug spray and still got bitten. I ate at many american restaurants including benihana but even though I paid in american dollars every single meal was cheaper.
I actually really liked San Salvador, and some of the little towns. It was probably better because I had someone to talk to who didn't mind me rambling on all the time.
But I think it may also have been made better because of where my head was at. I was excited again, because I knew I was leaving soon.
I am currently back in Guatemala City leaving on Thursday and it feels a little rushed, but a week ago it felt like completing a grand project, it felt good. And though I probably didn't give thanks enough in the moment, it felt good to know that I was wrapping something up, and I was able to slow down just a little and enjoy it more than I had been.
And then there was the other thing.
A while back I dreamed that I was going to die in El Salvador, I didn't know when or where (other than the specific block and the feel of the plaxe), but I assumed it would just happen at some point. And this too felt a little like completing a grand project, wrapping it up nice and neat.
And so each day as I walked around, I looked for the spot that the premonition had made me aware of... And I saw a lot of places that looked similar enough, the lighting just right, the feel in the air the same... In reflecting I was aware that of all the places I've seen, the dream really did look the most like El Salvador, not any of these other places (though I haven't ruled it out entirely) Part of me thought it was assured, the other laughed at that. It didn't keep me from exploding, in fact I probably explored more, just testing the limits of the feel of it. But I never felt the panic I had had in the dream, and nothing violent ever happened, and each day as it didn't happen, I became more and more resigned to enjoy the new life that was approaching.
I don't have any clue what is coming next. I don't know if my life is going to take some dramatic turn, or if it will become more boring and routine. I am kind of looking forward to small, un-"exciting" things more than grand gestures. I am looking forward to grocery shopping, walking or biking familiar paths, taking some time for new hobbies.
I've been considering where I am supposed to be, and since the premonition hasn't come true yet, I've concluded I'm supposed to be doing what I'm doing, called to the things I'm feeling called to.
I don't know what comes next... And if something should happen, then that is supposed to happen, and I think that will be good.
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