Nostalgia

I was working today at the coffee shop and thinking about how bored I am with the job. It was a slow day, so I had time to be dissatisfied. My mind began drifting to flashes of the streets of Antigua Guatemala. The cobblestone streets, the spanish colonial architecture. Glimpses of memories in the rain, in the sun, in the cool of evening and in the moonlit night time.

Antigua had a special place in my heart before I went back to Guatemala. On my first trip I found adventure and beauty there, and when I returned I found it again. It became the escape destination. The place you went to when you just had to get away from Guate, when you needed a break, some comfort or safe adventure.

Perhaps that is why I was thinking about it.
As I closed up shop, my mind continued to replay memories, but it wasn't real events, just pictures and the way a place felt.

Its been a little over three months since I left Latin America and I miss it.
I miss hearing the Spanish language, and find myself listening eagerly when I hear conversations now. I miss the unfamiliar, the new sights and experiences. The constant feeling that you are either learning something new about the world, or about yourself, and the evidence surrounds you.  I miss the people I met, the people I lived and worked with in Guatemala, but also the hundreds of people I met while traveling.  I miss the weather and the idea that it wont become dismal and gray and wintery.

There is a sense of loss now. Not just of places I've left behind and probably will never visit again, but also of who I was in those places. Of who I was, because I was adventuring through them.

Its too soon to say I am ready to leave again, but I am definitely aware that many of the reasons I left haven't changed too much, and that I may not find the parts of me, or the things I am looking for in life, here...

The End

Tomorrow is likely my last day in Latin America for quite a while. I've spent almost exactly 52 weeks and visited 9 countries in South America, as well as 5 more here in central (including Mexico). 

I had a number of goals for this last year one of which was to explore a bunch of places with different cultures, histories and experiences to offer. I feel pretty good about what I have seen and done in regards to that. I am really grateful for the opportunities I've had, and I've tried my best to respect and honor that gift by learning about places, seeking out educational resources, buildings and books and people, and also occasionally doing strange things like jumping off cliffs, going into caves and volcanoes, climbing mountains and even eating strange foods (it's happened a couple times). 

My spanish has improved to the extent that there are many words and phrases that automatically translate when I see or hear them, but not so much to the extent that I understand or can respond in every day situations. I feel like I'm in a good place that if I wanted to I could quickly build upon this base knowledge, but I've found that my desire to learn has depleted along with my desires to explore and adventure. 

I had a goal of living and working in another country... That one lasted about 4.5 months and in some ways it was a wonderful experience, but it was also invaluable in that it made me have to be honest again but what I actually care about and value. I realized within a week that I could not easily change my teaching philosophy, nor my personality to meet the needs of the school. Even more I realized I wasn't as thrilled to be teaching as I had in the past. It helped me realize that for now at least, I would prefer to venture into the unknown and take on new or different projects then the ones I've been preparing for these last 10 years or so. 

As far as living in another country... Guatemala is a beautiful place, but when you choose a place to live there is a lot more to consider than just -is there a job there. As much as I can enjoy big cities (San Salvador and Tegucigalpa were great) I found living in Guatemala City to be exhausting, isolating and occasionally grating, at best the city itself offers some history, a few lovely spaces and a lot of commercial comfort, but it is not a place Id want to raise children, or start a new business. It's not a place id choose to build my dreams around, and I think many of the people who do do so by default or lack of choice. 

That being said there are areas I didn't explore, millions of people I didn't meet and I'm sure at least a million awesome things I am unaware of... But this was my experience living here. 

I've said it before and I will say it again, the best part though of course was the people.  It's become too easy for my jaded self to move on, but at the same time, I'm moving on feeling pretty loved and feeling a lot of love for my friends here. I don't know how to make the most of it, or if trying would even make sense. I'm an old man, and I know that relationships change, wax and wane, but I am really glad I got to meet these people, be challenged and smiled at. It's nice playing a role in their lives and seeing the effect of their personalities on my own. I know I will be thinking of them often in the future, and imagining the place on the earth they are exploring, and wondering how they are doing there (whether we are in contact or not). 

At some point I may add photos and videos, use some color,add some links... But I think that's pretty much it

Goodbye Guatemala 

El Salvador not Salvador or del Salvador

What to say...

I spent my time in El Salvador on two different planes (not the flying kind), I was sort of caught up in the ideas of future and the enjoyment of the present. 

Logistically I visited a few towns and cities with hard to pronounce names like Juayua and Chalchuapa, as well as the more recognizable San Salvador. I mostly stayed in the northern part of the country, crossing from the East at the Honduran border over to San Salvador and then up into Guatemala. 

I found vibrant and beautiful murals and artwork in most of the cities, ranging from the graffiti walls of the capital to the cartoonish style of La Palma. I found amazing museums in San Salvador which contained beautiful works of art, depictions of history and stories from the war and progressive movements. 

I learned a little about how difficult it was to establish the name of El Salvador as opposed to just Salvador which would make more sense. 

I walked the streets of small towns, mountains towns, plains towns, Jungly towns, as well as the malls, the street mercados and suburban looking areas of the city.  

I made friends. Sipped a tiny amount of moonshine. Ate a ton of sorbet. Drank some really good coffee, and some that was just ok. I didn't eat any papusas, the salvadorian food staple. I used a lot of bug spray and still got bitten. I ate at many american restaurants including benihana but even though I paid in american dollars every single meal was cheaper.

I actually really liked San Salvador, and some of the little towns. It was probably better because I had someone to talk to who didn't mind me rambling on all the time. 

But I think it may also have been made better because of where my head was at. I was excited again, because I knew I was leaving soon. 

I am currently back in Guatemala City leaving on Thursday and it feels a little rushed, but a week ago it felt like completing a grand project, it felt good. And though I probably didn't give thanks enough in the moment, it felt good to know that I was wrapping something up, and I was able to slow down just a little and enjoy it more than I had been.

And then there was the other thing. 

A while back I dreamed that I was going to die in El Salvador, I didn't know when or where (other than the specific block and the feel of the plaxe), but I assumed it would just happen at some point. And this too felt a little like completing a grand project, wrapping it up nice and neat. 

And so each day as I walked around, I looked for the spot that the premonition had made me aware of... And I saw a lot of places that looked similar enough, the lighting just right, the feel in the air the same... In reflecting I was aware that of all the places I've seen, the dream really did look the most like El Salvador, not any of these other places (though I haven't ruled it out entirely) Part of me thought it was assured, the other laughed at that.  It didn't keep me from exploding, in fact I probably explored more, just testing the limits of the feel of it.  But I never felt the panic I had had in the dream, and nothing violent ever happened, and each day as it didn't happen, I became more and more resigned to enjoy the new life that was approaching. 

I don't have any clue what is coming next. I don't know if my life is going to take some dramatic turn, or if it will become more boring and routine. I am kind of looking forward to small, un-"exciting" things more than grand gestures. I am looking forward to grocery shopping, walking or biking familiar paths, taking some time for new hobbies.

I've been considering where I am supposed to be, and since the premonition hasn't come true yet, I've concluded I'm supposed to be doing what I'm doing, called to the things I'm feeling called to. 

I don't know what comes next... And if something should happen, then that is supposed to happen, and I think that will be good.

Highlands

After Tegucigalpa I moved northwesterly to the former capital of Honduras, a small extremely hot town called Comayagua. There wasn't much to do but walk around and get sorbet (which has basically been my lifeline to sanity in all of these ridiculously hot places). I checked out the main church, walked around the historic center and visited a small gallery at the cultural center. 

I took off bright and early the next morning to visit La Esperanza, apparently the highest city in Honduras. Like the small towns I visited after, la Esperanza didn't have much. Checked out the city center, a small church cave on top of a hill and then moved on to the one time capital of Central America. Gracias is another small town, there are a few churches and a small fort at the top of the hill, but once again it was church and sorbet before heading out the next morning to another small town, called Santa Rosa de Copan. The main part of town is a 6-7 block hike up a steep hill. Locals know to take the shuttle van or a taxi, mike is not a local. Santa Rosa had the same basic things but I stayed in a nice hotel for $20 and had my first and second hot shower in about 2.5 weeks.

There was also cable TV and more sorbet. Finally on my way out of Honduras I stopped in Ocotepeque, walked around a bit, had lunch and moved to the border.

The Honduran highlands are beautiful, but the towns don't offer a whole lot. Most people don't speak english and the tourist economy isn't all that built up. 

On the way out of Gracias I met a man who had grown up in the states but now lived in Honduras. We spent a bus ride together while I asked him questions regarding Honduran culture and to confirm suspicions I had about he country.  He told me a lot, and offered a number of visions he had for the future, but also seemed to have a similar understanding of the country being sort of stuck.

One thing he said that seemed to be changing  things for the better was access to the Internet. He said that Hondurans have long been undereducated and a little too gullible. He said that as an oral culture people often share stories and exaggerate their experiences. Over time the exaggerations paired with lack of education made people rather superstitious and illogical. People wouldn't question or analyze the information their were given so it became quite easy to take advantage of the poor and the farmers. Now with Internet, people are starting to fact check, ask questions and analyze the answers they're given. He hopes that Overtime, this will lead to a society that values knowledge, and desires leaders who follow through on their word. 

After my time in he Honduran highlands I entered the el salvadorian highlands today visiting the town of la Palma. 

Pictures to come. 

I am currently in the town is Suchitoto and there is a giant spider in the shower. 

Dangerous cities

I'm in Tegucigalpa, supposedly one of the most dangerous cities in the world. The thing is that the danger hype in all of these cities usually keeps people away. And sometimes that's sad. 

Yesterday I walked down to the historic center of the city. I didn't see any white people the whole day, but I did see an amazing museum, a couple of cool churches, a thousand Hondurans just living their lives.  I didn't walk into any super sketchy areas, it was day time and I wasn't in any place that was super isolated... So it felt really safe the whole day.

Today I woke up after sleeping in, realized there was no water in the normally ice cold shower and so set out to the mall in the same dirty clothes with dirty hair and all... 

I walked in the direction of the biggest mall, over some massive hills, through some suburb looking places, then past a street that was closed off by police. 

I kept going not realizing that street was the street I was looking for...

So I went about 3 miles down the road in the wrong direction, checked out some other neighborhoods and eventually turned around heading home. I decided that I could take a different route since I hadn't found my mall, and I might as well explore some more of the city. 

I ended up in a variety of Colonias (upper class neighborhoods), eventually finding the big mall. I watched the new terminator movie and ate an auntie Annie's pretzel, then headed back to the hostel once again trying a new route.  This time it was getting dark and a lot of businesses were closed, eventually I found my way, and everything turned out well. I looked on the map of tegucigalpas and realized Id been to a huge part of the city all accidentally. If I hadn't explored and potentially risked getting jumped I wouldn't have seen much at all. 

The reality is that when you can't go down alleys, and need to stick to high pedestrian areas, you still see these huge swaths of (usually) commercial areas. You see the public areas and stare down the street at the neighborhoods from there. It's not entirely different from the things you'd do at home.  Unless you're like me and like getting lost(as I did today a few times), most people stick to the routes they know, the main roads, the highways etc.   I got to do that in Managua and Guate, got to do that in Lima, São Paolo and Bogotá, it's nice... And so is getting a little lost in some neighborhoods (when everything turns out ok).  

Anyway... I'm glad I came to Tegus - as they call it. 

I'm headed to Comayagua tomorrow (pronounced differently than one would expect).  

Which reminds me of two things: 

1) Hondurans and Nicaraguans have not been as friendly as Mexicans and Guatemalans, perhaps they are more laid back and so they don't jump to say hi, or maybe they don't want to deal with tourists... Or maybe I look grubby. 

2) Nicaraguan and Honduran accents are way different than Guatemalan and Mexican. Like they drop letters and things... It's so hard to understand sometimes.  Spanish is supposed to be this language where every letter has a sound and yet in these places they don't pronounce some of the letters, or they pronounce them differently. 

Comayagua should be like coma-ya-Goo a...but here it's like coma-ya-wa

Types of travel

I've been seeing many more women traveling in Central America than in other places. Especially the last few days there have been more women than men in the area. 

Looking at the type of travel, in these areas there are more projects, volunteer opportunities, mission groups etc.

I wonder if the difference is based on an idea of security or purpose, or a mix?

If men felt less secure, would they choose to travel through volunteer opportunities more often? Would it be less selfishly oriented? (Not tha volunteer trips aren't sometimes selfish). 

Just a thought

Ometepe

I got scammed on the way to this island, so my first impression wasn't the best. Then I spent the night lazying about because there was nothing to do after dark except drink a coke and read a book.

Last night I could barely sleep because the room was so damn hot and sticky. 

This morning I woke to an empty hostel, one woman sweeping the floor who said she couldn't rent me a towel and my clothes were still wet from yesterday.

So... I woke up in a generally foul mood as well. 

Then I rented a scooter and though scary, I got to see a portion of the island, the vibrancy of the plants, the craziness of the animals... And for a while I felt better. 

It's still hot, and I am generally in a funk that is likely being prolonged by the heat, but it was a beautiful day. A little expensive since I scratched the paint on my way to the museum, but still it was mostly a good day.

The heat

It's so hot, and yet the Nicaraguans wear jeans. Full jeans, not shorts. 

Managua in Words

The vegetation is tropical, but drying in the ridiculous heat, the leaves are brown on the street, and yellowing in the sky. 

The houses are cramped on the edges of the city, not enough room to breathe, sharing walls and likely laughter, in the dark spaces behind their cement walls and waving iron roofs. 

In the middle of the city (the old part, rebuilt) there is space. Too much space, and in the morning, the people don't come out to fill it. Vacant lots, vacant parking spaces, vacant parks and the occasional vendor setting up for something that must not happen till the sun is much higher or lower in the sky. 

The wide avenues allow for racing cars and there is no need for honking. 

The sun suffocates the sidewalks and anyone who does exist, hides in shadows under trees or impermanent shelters. 

What stores and restaurants exist are behind muraled walls with exclusive access, the neighborhoods suggest development based on security. 

With no tiendas the vendors come out and after setting out their wears, and a  selection of beverages retreat to hammocks and benches in cooler places. It's like the Caribbean only dressed in the concrete of modernity. 

The parks are huge, and promise splendor, maps display shops and amusements, gardens and monuments, but the parks jut out of nowhere, a modern retraction from what otherwise seems barren. 

There is a lake with lapping waves and mountains in the distance. Staring across seems like staring at a muted watercolor, the tones muddled into dull. But hehind you is the pier with colorful flags streaming, with vibrant colors painted everywhere. I kind of joke, in which the man made holds your attention far longer than what should be a buffet of splendor. 

The commercial areas are herded with shepherds in security outfits and fox-like taxi drivers prowling on the outside. The stores are familiar, a mixture of cheap trash and fashion. 

In between the herds are vast "natural" spaces where the grass is overgrown and the trees untamed, they would make great parks but they are inundated with garbage and the broken bits of buildings. The homeless have set up camps using old brick walls as a wind break and a collection of whatever was available for the other walls. The roof(if there is one)  is rusted corrogation. The yard is as much garbage dump as it is a place to stretch out. 

These encampments are in some cases the neighbor to fancy new buildings, car dealerships, banks, restaurants. 

The city is made to mythologize. The destruction of massive areas by earthquakes has meant rebuilding with new faces... Prominently displayed at every respectful street corners, park., highway wall, are the names and quotes, the faces and symbols of revolutionary Latin Americans. 

Some are so common that they stop being human leaders and instead turn into the Jolly Green Giant, or Paul Bunyan. Their giant silhouettes saying to all the poor families "this park is yours, This street is yours, this dilapidated falling apart palace is yours... Now don't. Question too much" 

A

Hot as... León

Spent the last couple days walking around the city of Leon, Nicaragua with some friends from Guatemala. 

It's hot enough to be a desert town and directly east is a whole line of volcanoes many of which are actively spewing lava and smoke into the air.

León is considered the more liberal of the  one time colonial cities, as I mentioned before the Sandinistas are pretty popular here.

Sandinista flags line the streets near a memorial. 

But other than the monuments I'm not sure what stands out as particularly progressive or liberal. The city has a few museums we checked out, one was an art museum with a wide mix of styles and pieces in two separate buildings but because it was a private collection we weren't allowed to take pictures. 

My friends spent most of their time in the art museum making up imaginative summaries for the more abstract pieces, while I tried to figure out what historical context the various Latin American artists were painting in- many of the pieces were during or before revolutions and civil wars. 

The other museum we saw was an entomological exhibit showing bugs from here and abroad. Collections of beetles, moths, spiders and scorpions were all fascinating but the most beautiful were the butterflies  of course.  

Other than the museums are time was mostly spent going in and out of colonial churches around town and dodging the sun as best we could. 

Oh and of course climbing a volcano. 

While some of our other friends went to do the "more adventurous/adrenaline rush" of volcano boarding, my friends Sara and Anna and I went on a volcano night hike at Vulcan Telica. The ultimate goal is to see lava at night, but unfortunately our volcano partially caved in a few days ago so we didn't see any (que triste). The views however were awesome!

Seeing the caldera of a volcano is always thrilling but seeing it this close was a little scary and awe inspiring. 

Especially when we jumped in- to our certain deaths. 

And the thrills just kept coming... Our guide promised us something special so as we walked up to this trench/cave in the side of the volcano, she mentioned "ok now we go into the bat cave" and all of us had a moment of "the what?" Before climbing in...

All the white things are bats flying. I have a video, but can't upload it yet.

Honestly I think being surrounded by bats was probably the highlight of the night, it was just non stop adrenaline the whole time we were in there... Which I've been told lasted a lot longer than sledding down a volcano hill (ten seconds). 

Anyway we didn't get to see the lava, but we did see a beautiful sunset and could just barely make out the ocean about 50 km or 30 miles away.

Overall the time in León was great. Now I am headed off to the second biggest city in Central America recently described to me as "barking dogs, police sirens and gun shots" don't worry I am staying in a safer neighborhood. 

A thought

I was watching a street festival outside of the cathedral in León )

(Possibly a fundraiser for renovations for the building). This is supposedly Sandinista territory and there are monuments and hospitals and things dedicated to the revolution. 

Watching people dance and clap and smile while listening to the latest dance music with the Sandinista flag waving crazily behind them, I can't help but wonder what everyone was so afraid of...

Communism!!! 

Schools and hospitals and taking care of people.

The redistribution of land? Taking land from those who own regions... The Dons entrusted to rule over dozens of villages like feudal lords.  The U.S. Once said that any reservation land that wasn't being currently farmed by Native Americans had to be redistributed and sold (under valued) to poor homesteaders, but when communists propose the same its time for war.   

Did they think they would take away their freedom? What freedom?

The freedom to buy what they couldn't afford? The freedom to read and write and speak - though kept intentionally illiterate? The freedom of religion? Do you think these people would give it up when the spanish couldn't even stamp it out/replace it entirely, the center of people's lives, the place next to the schools and markets the other place of people's lives... 

They smile and dance and cheer each other on... The commies. 

What were we so afraid of that we had to arm and murder and take away all those smiles? 

The Goods in the Market

Throughout my time In Latin America I've run into various products that have been mass produced and yet  sold as if they were handmade. I'm thinking mostly of the textiles, but wood carvings, jewelry and and clay statues surely fit the bill. Markets and tourist stores are full of them, women and children will approach you with arms full. Some are very clearly the same products you can get in the US. Silk or pashmina blend scarves sold all around the world... Others have designs as if they were local, perhaps finalized locally with a pattern that makes it seem a little more special. 

But where do these products come from? Are they made in giant factories along the banks of polluted chinese rivers? Are they made in small villages in mountain towns in India or in Guatemala?  Are they made on blackstrap looms by women sitting and chatting or by large industrial machines that keep the people awake all night with the noise?

Are the colors made locally or shipped from Indonesia? Is the material from the sheep in the countryside or from the cotton fields of Central Asia, or the oil fields in the Middle East?

Are these products shipped in vast cargos ships, to ports along the coast where they are loaded up into trucks and further distributed from warehouses... or brought down by trucks from the highlands, one guy making the rounds to each of the houses. Collecting that week's harvest, to be sold in the markets of the region. 

If they are hand made in little towns, then where are these towns?  And how does the product of one place end up in so many? How is it that I can but the same blanket in Cancun, Oaxaca, Antigua and Copan? If it's the same pattern distributed to many locations than how do they get the materials? 

But perhaps the question that sets it all in motion,  what is the price?

The price should tell us the distance, the quality, who made it and where... But because the price varies depending on who is buying, we get nothing.

The Baja hoodie (drug rag) sells for between $3-30 depending not on the distance but upon the buyer. The person selling it couldn't possibly have made it- they are the vendor... So we are already talking about a product that 2 people are involved with that can somehow be sold for $3... If mass produced locally that might make sense, but if made locally by hand, there is no way that is worth the time, effort, materials. Someone needs to live off that $3 potentially more than 1 or 2 people.  

So most likely it is made in a factory, local or international... But if international how can it be made, shipped and sold for $3?? Even the gasoline used to take it from the coast, or a large city all the way to these mountain towns seems to beg for more than $3. 

If it's made locally how do they afford the machinery?   Sometimes I look at the teenagers selling a handful of scarves and think "even if it costs them a dollar a piece, that still means they spent 25 dollars (usually more) on those items to sell... How did they earn 25 dollars to build up their stockpile? Did they do it 3 at a time? Sell a scarf for $9 buy a handful more and starve for the night?

But they are not starving. The majority, even the street kids have clothes and food. Which begs the question are they family units? Cooperatives? Are NGOs or churches or micro-financiers  supplementing them for a time? 

How does this process work.

I asked the tour guide today. He assumed the products weren't made in china, but his guess was Guatemala. But everyone in Mexico assumes Guatemala is just a little worse off than anywhere in Mexico, I wonder if I asked a Guatemalan tour guide If he would tell me Honduras.

I also asked him if he thought the venders would know... He assumed not. 

But ask the vendors directly and they will say it was handmade, sometimes they will even say they made it. 

Xela

When I first got to Xela it was raining, dismal and gray. I knew it was the weather and the fact that Id been cooped up in a shuttle bus for 7 hours, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to leave sooner than I had planned. 

I decided to make the most of the rest of the evening by doing a sort of survey of the city. Quetzaltenango(Nicknamed Xela based on its original name Xelaju) is the second biggest city in Guatemala. Like the big city its polluted and crumbling in places. Like the big city it has a fair share of old and new. Like the big city it is packed with people... 

But as I got out and about, Xela started to feel nice, maybe it was the fact that through the rain clouds you could actually see the surrounding country, maybe it was that mix of outdoor eateries and spanish court yard restaurants,

Or maybe the strange totally out of place Romanesque architecture of all the big monuments and important buildings...

Over time though I realized it was not the buildings and businesses both familiar  and new, or the open air markets or the awesome french fry place... 

It was the kids.

Even in the rain last night, even in the dark when I was walking home, or all day today I saw children. School age kids in uniforms, youth with backpacks, college age kids coming out of classes... This city is full of schools and universities (and spanish language schools for tourists)... But they are not hiding, or in a rush, or chaperoned by their parents. They are laughing and smiling innocently on street corners, walking down dark alleys and totally unafraid. Totally enjoying life the way young people should. 

If you have ever seen the movie Children of Men that is a little of how Guatemala City feels. It's not that there aren't children out playing or walking, but there is a constant fear... There is barbed wire, and guards everywhere. Children are handheld and briskly lead to where tey are going. It is an environment where hope is closely guarded, by shotguns and fear is ever present. But Xela doesn't feel that way. It's got the crowded streets, te horn honking the exhaust, the same shopping centers and coffee shops, but the fear doesn't seem

as prevalent. The city feels like a breah of fresh air, still very Guatemalan, but comfortable.  

Antigua is a short distance from the city, but feels touristy. The lake has some nice small towns, but feels kind of cut off, like a vacation spot. The small towns feel very small... But perhaps Xela is the goldilocks of Guatemala. 

I'm leaving tomorrow or the next day. I won't be doing all the cool nature hikes or the cool cultural tours, but I am glad I got to come here for a bit. Just to experience a Guatemalan city that feels a little more natural.

Oaxaca and San Cristobal de las Casas

When I was looking for places to live and teach, I had a small set of conveniences and other items I was looking for:

First the city must have a good feel. Hard to explain this one, but some cities feel great from the moment you arrive till the moment you leave. The kind of city you want to return to even when you've just been.  There are lots of these places but they are not every stop on your journey... Gautemala city was not one of these places, even though I had a good time there, the city never felt great and when I decided to leave I remember thinking distinctly that the feel of the city was part of it. 

After that it was a list of things that seem silly but I know matter to my sense of calm.  A coffee shop with good lighting and decent coffee. A chinese restaurant that I like. Some sort of chain fast food. A movie theater.

Then there was the it would be cool if- though for me some of this plays into the feel of a city. It would be cool if there was an abundance of street art. A history to the place. Friendly people and cultural exhibits of some sort. Green space and somewhere with natural water. A progressive scene, liberal politics etc.

Those things are really unique to a place, for instance Rio de Janeiro had a to. Of street art but I didn't like the style all the time. 

Ciudad del Este in paraguay had a big lake with walking paths, and several big parks but I would not choose to live there. 

Do it's really the mix of things that make a place. 

The last few days I've been in San Cristobal de las Casas and this morning I arrived in Oaxaca. Both of these places would make my list, though really they aren't all that much alike. 

Both cities have a historic touristy area and a more modern though not always better looking local area. The centers have historic churches, big squares with music and street performers, art sellers etc. Both have pedestrian areas with restaurants, galleries and coffee shops. Both have markets both for tourists and locals.  But both cities despite their obvious Mexican background, kind of look and feel nothing alike...

And yet they are both awesome. 

Here are some pictures.

That was all in Oaxaca 

Here are a few from San Cristobal 

Back to Mexico

As I've mentioned my last time to this part of the world ended poorly. After a serious dose of radiation at the lake I got sun poisoning (something I had never heard of) which seriously knocked me out.  I painfully followed through with the next few days of my trip as the burn got worse, eventually leading me to a Mexican hospital in San Cristobal De las Casas.  

I'm in San Cristobal de las Casas. 

After a very restless hostel sleep last night I woke up super early and caught a shuttle for the Mexican border. The shuttle wound around the lake, and stopped briefly in Xela (where I will hopefully spend a day or two on the way back). 

As we got further and further into the Guatemalan highlands, the winding curves and tiny colorful towns reminded me of the last time I was there. I remember an almost hallucinatory experience, completely nauseous and hoping around each bend we would  finally stop. I thought it was car sickness mixed perhaps with altitude sickness... I didn't know the sun could poison you. 

This time I watched as the hills grew larger,  turning into a mountain chain instead of a series of volcano points. It reminded me at first of the Andes, the vast wall of slopes covered in various types of vegetation.

As we drove, memories played out in my mind. I remembered accurately the Guatemalan border area, the plateau street with shops on either side. I remembered it being lively, and extrnely hot, and today was the same...but the Mexican side didn't hit me till I got there and remembered at the time how desperate I was for a bathroom.

How I worried people would think I was on drugs. How I was fading in and out of full consciousness, desperate to sleep and to ease the nausea. 

When in Mexico, the roads smoothed out and I must have slept because I didn't remember the countryside. 

The mountain towns that in there wood and cement block construction look more and more like the monotone desert towns of Mexico rather than the coastal lively colorful ones. 

The farms inbetween pine forest covered hills, the ewes and Rams running around. 

The turkeys and chickens and the life style that paints images of the black hills or the Appalachians in my mind. 

I remembered accurately the many military bases, the clean smooth facades, sometimes in the middle of a forest and at other times like malls on cleared suburban looking cement. 

As we approached San Cristobal I got excited. Things started to look familiar  in a really intense way.  I   Remembered the feeling of desperation. Of wanting to see everything and knowing I couldn't. It's a beautiful city and I was confined by immobile feet, so I pushed myself, straining through an ever present pain, a gritting, a streaking, a on the verge of tears kind of pain.  I remember the pain almost enhanced the magic of the place. It was a colonial city like Antigua which at the time I had just seen, but felt even more vibrant because it seemed to serve locals as much as tourists. 

As we drove in today, I felt confident. Readin for a stroll through the cobblestones, ready to relive and fill in the gaps... And so far the city has not disappointed. 

I leave tomorrow night for Oaxaca (an entirely new experience). But today and tomorrow I am going to try to take it all in.

 

Also I made a friend, we've decided that this guy (yet to be named something other than ugly lion) will do some exploring with me. 

More soon. 

Moving On

This morning I left my apartment for the last time. Not the building though, I'm hoping to return a few times to say hi before I head home. 

Moving on from work here was not an easy decision. For the past 8 weeks I've spent each day in front of a classroom full of students, secretly thinking about how I was going to be leaving soon. Rather than that secret fueling my desires to leave, it's just left me feeling guilty. 

Yesterday was my last day at work, and I went to work nervous because thus far I had been instructed not to tell the students. My boss came around about 15 minutes into class and told me it was ok to tell them... So each class had their moment, some tears were shed, lots of me trying to reassure them that it wasn't about them, lots of apologies for bad behavior (though it didn't necessarily change during the hour), one class clapped, hugs were given, many colorful notes were placed on my desk. It was overall a really nice goodbye.

I spent last night cleaning out my apartment and giving stuff away. 

Today I am headed out into the world again. 

Itinerary  (always subject to change).

The plan in the immediate is to spend tonight in Antigua, then head to San Cristobal de las Casas (Mexico) tomorrow. I am hoping to spend the night  and day there then head to Oaxaca (overnight bus). After a few days in Oaxaca I would backtrack and either go to Merida to see a friend from South America or back to San Cristobal. 

After Mexico I will meet up again with my friends in Guatemala and take a shuttle or bus to Nicaragua. There are 5 or 6 spots I want to check out in Nicaragua before heading back overland through Honduras and El Salvador checking out some places in each.  In all I will spend about 2 weeks in Mexico, 2 weeks in Nicaragua, and roughly a week or so in Honduras and El Salvador. 

I fly home on the 23 of July from Guatemala City. 

I know that I can easily make this schedule and see all the spots, but after so many weeks of constantly working one of my goals will be to give myself a break. Hopefully that means a few days in each spot, not crazy rushing the whole time. 

I have been trying to figure out other goals for the trip today. I think one will be to do some journaling and catching up. Another to do some watercolor along the way. But mostly I want to let my brain and heart to think and process and figure out what they want. 

Months ago I was unhappy because I didn't have enough time to do creative projects while working. Over the last 8 weeks I have been so busy working, focusing on getting through the job... That I accidentally got stuck in that rhythm again. Now I am not sure what it was I wanted to do with my time off, but I am hoping to find it again before I head home. 

The hardest part of leaving is that there is a community of people I respect and have grown to care about here. 

Today when I was leaving it made me feel relieved to say "see ya in a couple of weeks" instead of goodbye. But soon that will not be the case.

I know that the world is full of wonderful people, but it has been lovely to have a group that has been part of my life, both work and play... Now I will be on my own again. 

I guess I can look forward to talking to myself. 

Getting ready

I leave in a week... Where to?

I was thinking about heading west, then north west, then back here, then south and maybe east,  then north again, and west and then back here to catch a plane home in July. 

Specifically Mexico, San cristobal and Oaxaca. Then back through Xela and here around the 19th or 20th.

Then direct to Nicaragua where I would see these places: Managua, León, Granada, esteli, Isla de ometepe

Then to Honduras and then El Salvador 

gracias, la Esperanza , Lagos de yogoa, Tegucigalpa, 

El Salvador- San Salvador, cihuatan,joga de cerei, ruinas,suchitoto, apaneca-juayua

Then back here

The lake

A couple weeks ago with my brother and sister in-law I returned to the lake that effectively ended my first trip to this part of the world. 

I had been kayaking without sunscreen on and got such a bad sunburn that I needed to go to the hospital.

At the time I was embarassed but they confirmed to me that when you come down from the mountains into the towns by the lake, it does feel like you are no longer  at a high altitude. 

Anyway, the lake was beautiful. These pictures were taken the morning we left. I may make another post to share about what we did there, but for now enjoy the beauty. 

3 Months In

It's been three months since I moved to Guatemala initially with the assumption that I would be here till October and traveling until the end of the year. 

I moved here with a set of assumptions, unanswered questions, and a heap of goals.

A couple weeks ago I came to the realization that I was not interested in staying until the end of the year. 

I've been contemplating a lot of the reasons for that decision, and also reflecting on those ideas I had before...

What changed? What have I learned? What should I be attempting to get out of this experience?

I decided I would spend 8 more weeks teaching then travel around for a bit and head home at the end of July. 

This afternoon I was working at the Starbucks a mile away from my apartment... It's the furthest of the malls in walking distance but since I had nothing else going on it seemed like a good idea to get a walk in. A student once remarked that all Americans have a crush on starbucks. 

One of the things I've realized has been disappointing with this experience is that my assumption of moving here was that I would somehow have the time, energy and desire to more fully explore Guatemalan culture. Unfortunately the reality is that between safety concerns and the exhaustion of the job- I've gotten to do very little exploration.

On the surface level I've gotten a better understanding of Guatemala City... But  I haven't had the time to dive deeper... I haven't even gone to a museum here. I've learned more about places in a weekend than I have being here for three months. 

Part of it is the lack of access. My travel spanish can take me in and out of places but doesn't allow me to make roots. My work situation exhausts me so I don't  feel like I am capable of taking on more involvements, including learning spanish.

So I'm not learning much from the people. My interactions with students are mostly work related, so I don't hear much about their lives, and one thing I've heard is that Guatemalans are not used to reflecting much so when they share it's usually very concrete.  

More upsetting I suppose is that the exhaustion and general safety issues, leave me stuck in the same bad habits I have at home. I came here to have a new experience, to learn and grow and change, but I am drinking starbucks and eating fastfood because it's easy quick and comforting.  When you constantly have safety on the mind, safety of avoiding traffic, safety of clean food, safety of not being attacked it becomes a comfort to seek familiarity. When you come home exhausted every day and know that you still have several hours of work to do, quick and comforting is just easier.  It's not that I haven't tried many new restaurants, but the non thinking option usually becomes the go-to. This is the same pattern I found myself in when I was overworking at my last job. So where is the room to grow?

So what have I learned? 

What has been good?

When I think about the best part of moving here it's the people I've met. I doubt they will be friends for life, but I feel really grateful for them every day and often think about the characteristics I enjoy about them. The more time I am here, the more time we cathect over the experience and it's just enjoyable to be around them. It's interesting to watch them grow and change with the experience- while I just feel set in my old man ways. 

(Continued a few weeks later).

Strangely enough the biggest thing I've learned is that I am not willing to pursue things unconditionally.  I am not willing to throw my life away over things that are not satisfactory, and if I don't see an option to improve the situation, I'm willing to walk away. 

I've found my extrovert energy is low, and my need to replenish it with soothing tasks, personal tasks, mental and creative tasks is a strong desire. 

More than most things, I look forward to creeping into my brain a little and seeing what is inside. 

I wonder if I had taken some more time o pursue my own creative goals first, if I might have been more capable of sticking it out at this job. 

There are times when I am uncertain if I even want to take the time to travel again while I'm here. The plan has always been to see a bit more of Central America before I go home.  I had a list of places o visit, a goal to get back in shape, a plan in my head and on paper... But sometimes I wonder if I should just head home... Perhaps cut my losses. 

I was doing the math the other day, and I believe that in the end I will likely have my entire time in Guatemala paid for, but will be paying for my own travel outside the country. What I mean is that I've saved enough from work that I can pay for a flight home, and even a few excursions around this country. But not enough to pay for an extra month and a half... But who knows maybe it will work itself out.

Getting sick.

Sometime last week I ate something that threw off the balance of my stomach in favor of a fairly serious infection. 

I spent most of Monday running to the bathroom and getting severely dehydrated. Tuesday I went to the doctor for confirmation and antibiotics, Wednesday and Thursday I sat around waiting to feel better. Attempted work a little too early Friday. 

It's Saturday and I am hungry.  Still can't eat more than a few bites without getting super full but I was worried I would never have any interest in food again. 

Part of traveling is getting sick. Normally it isn't a week long thing, but I've met people who have been sick for months because of travel, so I count my few run ins and my one emergency as a pretty good record. 

One issue with getting sick is that it makes you reconsider everything. In my case loneliness and illness tend to play out as pessimism. While sick I contemplated some of the things I've been writing about, thinking about over the last few months. The conclusion has been that I have enjoyed certain aspects of my time here but I'm not feeling happy with the most prominent aspect of being here- which is work.  My contract is up in October, but I am beginning to believe I won't be here that long. 

Antigua

This was written a month ago. I never uploaded the pictures... so its pretty dismal.


The colonial capital and current tourist city of Antigua was our Saturday trip destination.

The day began in the convent turned luxury hotel of Santo Domingo where the high school history teacher lead us around various museums such as the precolombian Art museum, the monastic art museum and a few craft work shops where they make candles, art and other goods. 

Following that we went to the San Franciscan convent, a similar colonial building that had not seen the beautiful restorations of the hotel. Here we took some pictures, saw the nuns cells, kitchens and resting places. 

Later in the day we saw a few Churches contrasting the ruined buildings of old to the rebuilt post earthquake churches that are still in use. 

Antigua is a beautiful city and many of the churches were built with parks and monuments.

The day ended with a nice lunch overlooking the city. While we were dining one of the local active volcanos went off and covered the whole region with black ash. It was kind of exciting and kind of awful.  

Part of you wanted to enjoy the experience, but another part needed to wipe the burning ash from your eyes and cough it out of your lungs. 

When I returned to school two days later everything was blanketed with black and gray dust. Yuckers. 

Anyway Antigua is beautiful. I shall return. 

Antigua/Hobbitengango

After several hard weeks at work, a group of us decided to head back to the beautiful city of Antigua again. Though this time, many of the group were especially excited about an adventure to the newly opened Hobbitenango hostel (a lord of the rings, hobbit themed hostel).

We started the day on a chicken bus (technically I got amazing pancakes before we left), a chicken bus is a large converted bus that operates as a collectivo (people get on and off as you make your way). Our chicken bus was especially empty in that there were only a few seats that had three people in the two person spot, and only once did someone have to stand.

When we got to Antigua we did a little souvenir shopping and had lunch at Frida's a mexican restaurant with lots of pictures of Frida Kahlo. The made our way through the streets to the shuttle that would take us up the mountain. We waited for friends for a bit, and then decided to meet up with them later.

The hostel is located about 15-20 minutes drive up a near by mountain. The van took us to the drop off spot and we walked another 15 mins virtually straight up to the spot. Upon arrival we were quickly shown around and then the crew had a few drinks before setting off for a quick hike. We weren't quite sure where we were going which added to the sense of adventure but also a bit of anxiety when it felt like we had walked to the other side of the mountain.

When we got back, we spent most of the time huddling near the heater and waiting for dinner while chatting. The place doesn't have electricity so it was candles and acoustic guitar and good conversation all night before an early bed time.

The wind picked up this weekend, it was probably the coldest it has been since I got here, so sleeping was a tad tricky with the tin roof of the building clanging loudly with each gust of wind. The three buildings are made out of recycled materials. Soon they will start making earthen buildings like a hobbit village.

This morning we froze. I had had my phone set to Minneapolis time which was accurate until this morning's day light savings. So I woke everyone up an hour early, and later we found out there was no shuttle down the mountain till 10:30, so we huddled with blankets, talking future travel plans etc.

When we finally made it down to Antigua we had some time for shopping and more coffee. I went with coffee. The chicken bus home was much more crowded, and the driver did not believe in slowing down on turns, or easing on the breaks.

Showers and errands... and here I am.

Guatemala City

Its been just a few days over a month here in Guatemala. Work has been more difficult than I imagined and I don't have a lot of time to get out of the immediate neighborhood (much to my dismay).

After a few days of feeling sick, I went out today and explored a little of the historic district by myself, then to another area with some of my coworkers.  It was really nice getting to explore a bit, it made me feel capable again which is not something I have been feeling a whole lot of lately.

To get to zone one, I took the public transit and on the way chatted with an older gentleman who has spent most of his life in the US and was waiting on Social Security payments. He had a foul mouth but seemed like an optimist. We got out at the same station, I walked around the corner through some market stalls and realized I had gotten out a few blocks from the stop I wanted, but that it hadn't mattered. 

I had two missions. First, I needed some clothes for a 1920s themed party and was headed to the thrift stores (the big chain is called mega paca). The other goal was to check out some of the historic buildings and squares and generally be a tourist(without a camera).

As I wandered throughout the area I realized that due to the decay, even the nice old buildings seem in desperate need of a makeover, and when they are surrounded by buildings in disrepair, it gives off a vibe that the history isn't all that important. That tourism isn't the business of the area, instead there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of small stalls, street vendors, street performers, and shops. Its a downtown market, that happens to include some old churches and a few museums/government offices.

I stumbled into a gallery in the ministry of art and culture, but other than that didn't find much. Many of the buildings were closed. The municipal cathedral was pretty bare and under construction. The main plaza didn't have much to look at.  There were about 4 buildings in total with beautiful facades but the surroundings didn't promote their grandeur, rather they subdued it... and it reminded me of other rundown spaces that could use a facelift.

Later in the day I went on a shopping expedition to a mall and shopping area(in zone 11) that we pass every day on the way home from work. I had wanted to check it out because it seemed like a fairly safe area but not too close to the area I end up walking most days.

But as we went inside I realized it was kind of just like all the other malls. We walked around the neighborhood, a mix of suburban commercialism and the sort of rundown garage looking buildings you see every where here. Crumbly walls and razor wire.

This evening we went to zone 4 to celebrate a birthday. It felt weird to be making a spectacle of ourselves in this city where I usually try to subdue my foreignness as much as possible. It felt like we were making ourselves a target but there were 20 of us, so who cares right.
We ended up down this side street with a bunch of low key open street bars. They were classy establishments, but I am sure they keep the neighbors up late.

The whole day made me realize both that I tend to assume the worst about this city (that it is overly dangerous), but also that the city is smaller than it seems. Like I was basically in 5 different zones today and got to see a good portion of them.  They seemed walkable and I am sort of happy that I got to go see them, now I want to see more.

Its possible next weekend we will head back to Antigua. I think its important that I try to strike a balance between my side goals (travel, writing, art, spanish, social life, etc) and work.
So far work has been really demanding and not very rewarding. But today was really fun and good for me. So maybe I just need to carve out more of this.

A side note

This morning I went to the grocery store near the apartment to buy juice for a brunch. On the way I passed a man at a large vendor stand who was grilling up a feast of different meats and soups for the people who might want a post church lunch. About 50 yards down the line I saw a couple grilling their breakfast using a grate over the cement planters that lined the sidewalk. Basically they had dug out the soil and plants and filled it with garbage or charcoal and we're cooking with it. 

This observation given without opinion. 

Zone 1

Zone 1 is the historical center and though I'd been here many years ago I didn't actually visit it when i was here... So yesterday was my first time down there. 

We went for the shopping, there are a few big thrift stores and I needed some work shirts. Some of my coworkers wanted to go thrift shopping too, plus there is a big produce market so we took a short bus trip 4-5 stops and got off in front of the market. 

There are a few big churches, some old arches and some buildings that might be a few hundred years old, but what is most noticeable are the people on the street, the vendors and good.  There are  several blocks of street vendors around the market, they sell fruits and veggies, DVDs and electronics, school supplies and house goods... Basically anything you want and fairly cheap. There are also artists who will do temporary tattoos, street performers and girls who will braid stuff into your hair.   

Unfortunately there are also a lot people with physical disabilities that are begging for money, which is hard to see. In many countries you can assume there are some basic services for people who are incapable of helping themselves but in Guatemala I am not sure there is a safety net.  

There are stores for rich and poor, lots of gringos hanging out in sit down restaurants, and lots of locals eating  street-foods like fresh fruits and fried stuff and grilled meats. Some of my coworkers love the tacos you can find down there. 

In just a few hours yesterday I got a taste of a larger Guatemala City, that though run down was pretty lively.  It made me really happy and I eagerly look forward to going back.